There are two kinds of People in the world

Douches that know how many types of people there are in the world and the rest of us. Hey bartender, take your original, sage wisdom and use it as a seating pad while you go f yourself.

I HATE the way all lawyers talk

To the extent that you can blow me, please do so, at your earliest convenience.

Wow

Are you guys ready for this?

I ask again, is everyone ready for what I am about to tell you??

I shit you not, this actually just happened to me about 15 minutes ago.

Ok, so I am at my desk and I get a phone call from a colleague. This was not an ordinary call, the voice on the other end was somewhat panicky, asking me to come over for a second. Now you very rarely get a call like this from someone unless they are gonna drop some heavy shit on you.

I had no idea.

So I get to this person's office and this is literally what was said:

Me: Sup
Them: We are friends right?
Me: Sure
Them: I need you to watch the door for a minute while I change my pants.
Me: What the fuck?

It didn't really occur to me why this guy needed to change his pants, but he seemed pretty desperate, so I took up my post at the door. Only after a minute or so do I actually ask why he is changing his pants. His response: Cause I just shit myself.

It turns out this guy let one slip and it got past the infield for a bloop single. He then proceeded to run around the firm in his shitty wears until he could go get a new pair of pants and underwear.

Fuck me.

At least it's Friday.

Nervous wreck

Toothache. Need root canal. Took a percocet to sleep through the night. Wake up. Feel like Satan wiped his ass with my forehead. It's alright, though, I get to wash this down with a nice drive to the dingleberry of Western civilization, Richmond, Virginia! Almost makes you want to go to work. Wait, maybe I'm still high...

Anywho, hopefully I can rant about the "Nation" epidemic later today, if K-Ville doesn't shit on my soul today because he knows today is MY Friday.

Don't call it a comeback

Yo yo yo!!! Cawfee Kupz Rockin Travlin Muhfukkin Mugz back up in this bitch, snitches!!! I been around the world and I-I-I...

I got a lot to say. So, with out further ado (lies), here is what I owe you:

-Trip to Charlotte - Livin free and NASCAR racin
-Expensive golfins not paid for
-WhiskyFest NY 2007
-Fuck the BoTards
-I hate "Nations"
-Jabbadoo need ta find anova jobbyjob!
-Straight Billin' (and the filthy lies I spew once a month)
-Listing (Including, but not exclusive to, People Who Can GFThemselves)

All coming soon, but for now, get bent.

And, D, you need a backpack cuz you are a rap hippie. F you.