A Giant Call From Brew-Town

I fogot to post this a couple weeks ago. Take it for what it is.

For some months now I have been caught in a emotional bind with my Brewtown heritage or shall I say manure. Most recently I felt a bit liberated having spent such a minimal amount of time in Brewsteria. The lack of beer battered banter from my old amigos opining on such scintillating topics as : "which Players bartender should F tonight", "My second DWI" or the classic "Is that really Murph's Ass?" has given me some much needed clarity. The idea that I might never again have the urge to speak with anyone from my home town again did not seem to be such a bad thing. Perhaps the ol'boys felt the same way. After all I hadn't received a call from any of them in some time. But then last Sunday happened. The Giants handed the Tampa bay Bucs a Brewster style rusty gutter beat down. I do recall one key phrase from Players regular, something along the lines of "finger blasting Chucky and now going to spray diahrea all over Romos face." Ahh, the sweet sound of someone who really knows what had just occurred and would result. As the G-men made their way south for the show down in Dallas so too did a hudson river of calls from gallows of Brewster. "Were gonna f Romo in that shit hole down there and then its onto to ice %^&$ Faaav-Re." Each call presented its own taste of the Brewsetr life I once enjoyed but all in all logic and reasoning played no roll in any of the "giants are going to the superbowl" arguments. Whether or not the gastric pontifictaions of brewtown prove true, we shall see. But I do know now, I'd much rather understand the giants were going to "eat Romo's children" then have 134 yds rushing. I thank Brew-town for that everytime. and for that rash...ouuuch.









































As Eli Manning took a knee on the Cowboys season

TGIF, Buddy!

Just got a "Happy Friday!" Man, that makes me feel awesome. No, wait a minute, I want to kill myself.

Suuuuuuuu....

Lick the nutties!!!!!

There are two kinds of People in the world

Douches that know how many types of people there are in the world and the rest of us. Hey bartender, take your original, sage wisdom and use it as a seating pad while you go f yourself.

I HATE the way all lawyers talk

To the extent that you can blow me, please do so, at your earliest convenience.

Wow

Are you guys ready for this?

I ask again, is everyone ready for what I am about to tell you??

I shit you not, this actually just happened to me about 15 minutes ago.

Ok, so I am at my desk and I get a phone call from a colleague. This was not an ordinary call, the voice on the other end was somewhat panicky, asking me to come over for a second. Now you very rarely get a call like this from someone unless they are gonna drop some heavy shit on you.

I had no idea.

So I get to this person's office and this is literally what was said:

Me: Sup
Them: We are friends right?
Me: Sure
Them: I need you to watch the door for a minute while I change my pants.
Me: What the fuck?

It didn't really occur to me why this guy needed to change his pants, but he seemed pretty desperate, so I took up my post at the door. Only after a minute or so do I actually ask why he is changing his pants. His response: Cause I just shit myself.

It turns out this guy let one slip and it got past the infield for a bloop single. He then proceeded to run around the firm in his shitty wears until he could go get a new pair of pants and underwear.

Fuck me.

At least it's Friday.

Nervous wreck

Toothache. Need root canal. Took a percocet to sleep through the night. Wake up. Feel like Satan wiped his ass with my forehead. It's alright, though, I get to wash this down with a nice drive to the dingleberry of Western civilization, Richmond, Virginia! Almost makes you want to go to work. Wait, maybe I'm still high...

Anywho, hopefully I can rant about the "Nation" epidemic later today, if K-Ville doesn't shit on my soul today because he knows today is MY Friday.