First off, I would like to refer to Klipz's post about me not flushing. I will admit, i do forget to flush the urinal from time to time. Why?, you may ask. Because FUCK THIS PLACE!! That's why. My soul has been systematically yanked out of my ass over the last fifteen months so I'll treat the toilets as I please. You want to know what else I might do? I just might take a steaming hot dump on the desk of every fucking attorney I feel has ever wronged me. And believe me, that would require many a brown trout on my part.
Another thing that has been getting to me more and more is the fucking attorneys asking us to stay late at the most inconvenient times. Don't get me wrong, I do like to do my share of Overtime. It helps pay the bills, alleviates financial stress, and of course, allows me to subsidize my ever-growing alcohol addiction. However, for the last month Klipz and I have been sitting on our asses all fucking week, then, with no warning, our attorneys proceed to give us 4 hours worth of deposition prep at 4:30 ON A FUCKING FRIDAY. It's getting to the point where I feel like I'm going to go into one of those uncontrollable rages where I black out and the next thing I know I am sitting on the floor of the 13th floor conference room in a pool of blood with a dead, disemboweled first-year associate next to me, and upon further inspection, I will have eaten said first-year's entire intestinal tract along with part of his/her liver. I'm really not trying to come off like a freak, I'm just trying to give you broke-ass suckas fair warning for when you ask me to take a CD from your office down two floors and I respond by removing your kidneys with a utility knife. And maybe eating part of you.
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