Houston, we have a problem...

Thats right you lame fuck, you and me in the playground at 3, and we aren't balling.

As a life long fan of the New York Knicks, I am severely distressed to hear that Alan Houston is trying to make a comeback to the NBA. I have even read that he is trying to come back to the Knicks. Holy shit. If Isiah signs Alan Houston to a contract that is worth more than the retail cost of seat he will be warming on the bench, I swear to GOD I will kill myself.

We Knicks fans have a small sense of optimism about this season, not because we are actually going to be good (Not at all, I give Zach Randolph 6 months to a year before he is arrested for weapons possession at the Hustler Club. This of course will be after 20 cops let him off for driving drunk or with weed in the car, only for the sake of New York basketball glory). No, it is because since the times of Ewing, Oak, and Starks (I am still trying to forgive/forget that 2/18...you broke my heart John), and my personal favorites Derek Harper and Charles Smith (keep on pump faking ass), do we have a team with some character. Now, I have thought about this, and the Sprewell/Camby/LJ team does deserve some credit. That team had heart, not as much as the early 90's crew, but they got us somewhere. I figure if I am going to pine about the past, it might as well be with the better squad. I digress, for the first time in a long time we have a reason to be optimistic. This however, is fucked by the fact that everyone else in the East got just as much better as we did, which still makes us a team of herbs.

But I SWEAR TO GOD, if Isiah signs Houston to any kind of contract I WILL SHIT MYSELF AND DIE. He says his knee is pain free for the first time in years. You asshole, it's because you haven't been playing basketball. Shooting around in the drive way or your private court (cause with the fucking money we paid him he better have a fucking swimming pool built into the backboard or something) is not comparable. The bottom line is I hate Alan Houston. He was good for a couple of years (when he was young and could run), but the last time he checked he could only run from one three point line to the other, and the only person allowed to do that nowadays is Ray Allen.

Fuck...and I only mentioned how much we paid him once...

Did I mention that Derek Harper was the fucking man??
Rolando Blackmon was the shit too.