Temps

Ok, I have tried to hold back, and was prepared to write one big blog per month about how much I hate my temps, but I don't think it is in my best interests (or the best interests of those within 25 feet of me at any given time) to hold it in any longer. I fucking hate my temps. I hate them like I should hate my boss, but Party Girl is actually pretty chill. Let me begin to explain...

I do not care if the whack ass flesh peddling temp agency that you worked for tells you that you are a "consultant" or some other bullshit, but the fact is that you are a temp. For some reason you don't have a real job (not that I should say that my job is actually real, but at least its regular). I do not know why you don't have a real job, and frankly I don't give a fuck. Having said that, I do not want you to give me advice on how to do my job. I may hate it, but I do it somewhat well. The only reason that you are working for me in the first place is because one of our earlier plans did not work out and you are only slightly more expensive to hire than some 12 year old in India, but we like to save the kids for the more important work. You, you temp can go and put this giant stack of paper in chronological order, and then put it in a box and bring it to my office so I can put my feet on it. Wow, you went to school for Sociology and look, you're a carpenter too!

Another thing, lets say I were to take your advice and do things the "civilized" way. YOU WOULDN'T HAVE A FUCKING JOB. Who gives a fuck what you do here? Who gives a fuck if you have substantial work?? You're a temp, the fact that nobody knows your name and you have literally zero accountability is the greatest gift God has given you since free will. You get paid the same to move boxes, print documents, do data entry, whatever.

Also, we are using a new temp agency, a little different than the one we had used in the past. In the past, it didn't matter what you asked for...you were going to get the same thing. A thug from either Queens or Brooklyn who would move boxes, steal box cutters, and very contently get paid to sit around and do nothing. Nowadays I can't even ignore the temps because if they have been sitting idle for more than 15 minutes they come running looking for more work. Then, when I get stuck doing something else, they run to someone else and say "I spoke to D-Ring and he didn't get back to me, so now I have nothing to do! I am wasting the clients money!! Thats not responsible billing..NOOOOO!!!!". Snitch motherfuckers.

I hate all of you.